THE POWER OF MELTDOWNS

Not sure what’s been up with this last week. Many people have been finding the past few days really challenging. And this is across the whole board of industries, sexes and demographics. So I feel compelled to reach out to all of you because there is one very simple solution:

STOP TRYING TO GO IT ALONE!

With the second month of the year nearing the end, entrepreneurs are feeling the pressure. Regardless if they are finding it hard to find business or if they are struggling to keep up with demand, somehow it is all too much.

Even clients have come into our sessions a little frazzled around the edges and I had to stop them in their tracks when trying to discuss business development. We moved the discussions to where things were at with them personally to get to the bottom of their frazzledness.

I let them know that within our sessions they are in a sanctuary – their protected zone where it was ok to drop their guard and armor and simply be themselves for a moment. Within a short period of time we managed to discuss what was making them feel so anxious and overwhelmed and put all of their self imposed pressure into perspective.

Afterwards I received emails and messages to say ‘thank you’ for helping them cut out the noise and focus on what was really troubling them with a path to overcome. They could not believe how a constructive conversation could make them feel so much better and clear on what steps they needed to take.

So if you have experienced a week of havoc and are not sure why, first understand that many are sharing your pain.  Then secondly take advice from my clients and seek your own sanctuary. Where for a moment you can go into full-blown meltdown just to come out within minutes feeling cleared, understood and empowered.

Meltdowns are great to clear the air, let go of un-serving stuff and refocus on the real priorities. Give in to the weakness to come out stronger!

Meet you in your sanctuary,

Conny

THE POWER OF GOING FOR IT

I have a wonderful new client that came to me through a special referral. The first time we met, she was telling me how she regretted not taking opportunities in the past due to her self-restricting comfort zone and maybe even a little fear of failure. Today she wished she had been more audacious.

Since my initial conversation with her, I seemed to be meeting lots of people from different walks of life in the beginning of this year, who share the same regrets.

One gentleman had the chance to become a Commercial Diver like his brother in-law. While he was tempted at the time, he found enough excuses not to take the training.

When I met him last week, he was still reminiscing about what could have been. Today he is struggling financially whilst his brother in-law has already retired, enjoying the rewards of his earlier courage.

For those of you sharing the feeling of regret about what could have or should have been, I have one simple message:

‘As much as we can’t change what has been or can control what will be, we have the power over ourselves as well as our choices. Therefore stop looking back and move forward by going for it today.

YOU ARE THE CHANGE!

Conny

THE PROFIT PRINCIPLES: THE POWER OF APATHY

THE PROFIT PRINCIPLES: THE POWER OF APATHY: My 9 year old son came home from school with some pretty tough questions just before Remembrance Day. He wanted to know from me as someone w...

THE POWER OF APATHY

My 9 year old son came home from school with some pretty tough questions just before Remembrance Day. He wanted to know from me as someone with a German background, how it had been possible for Hitler to do the terrible things he did. My son was looking to me for an explanation that has been troubling the world for generations.

After consideration, I looked at him and said:” Because people were too scared to stand up to a bully, hoping if only they‘d turn a blind eye, it would not effect them!” “Therefore”, was my conclusion, “we can not ignore the bullies but must stand up to them!” How little did I know, that I would have to lead by example not long thereafter:

Within the last week there have been terrible developments at a local organization that in the past has been very dear to me. Much of my charitable support time had been dedicated to it and it’s members over the past few years and many friendships were forged. This was before a new regime had taken hold. A regime, that is not transparent but inwardly focused. With that, the feel of the organization changed. Suddenly the gap to the previous, positive and results orientated Board of Directors was very evident.

The increasing distance of the organization to it’s members was at first only a little disappointing, because life and work simply carried on. Until an incident caused for attention and questioning. Suddenly the stark truth of wrong doing and cover-ups became blatantly obvious. So what does one do?

This week, a highly regarded Executive Director was compromised by the current Board of Directors with neglect to observe the by-laws developed for the proper and ethical regulation of actions.

I had to recall my conversation with my son and in addition was jolted into action by a very powerful Remembrance Day Memorial Service. It suddenly became clear listing to the speaker:” Each time a person stands up for an idea, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, they send forth a tiny ripple of hope!”

At the time my son was holding my hand and gave it a little squeeze:” See mum, that’s why we have to stand up to bullies.” Suddenly I realized I had to do something. Immediately on our return home from the Service, I finally took action and started to pose the question to other members inquiring if they experienced the same issues with the organization and if they were aware of the recent events.

Within the shortest period of time I received a flood of responses! It was as if someone had released the pressure in a valve, ready to burst. Members reached out and shared their concerns with me, willing to consider actions necessary to see some drastic changes in the management of the organization.

So, I was not alone in thinking there were some serious questions that needed to be put to the Board requesting full accountability and transparency for the expulsion of the Director.

And you know? This situation is far from being resolved and may or may not have a satisfactory outcome for the members.

However, that night after the Service I took my son to bed, knowing that I said ‘to hell’ with apathy, proving that I was willing to walk my talk whilst leading by example on the virtues I try to instill in my children.

So I want to call upon you: Find it within yourself to take the first step and you will be surprised how many people will gladly join you in unity.

Be the Change! (and a credible leader of your own virtues)
Conny

THE PROFIT PRINCIPLES: THE POWER OF OTHERS

THE PROFIT PRINCIPLES: THE POWER OF OTHERS: Just returning from a very successful trip to Europe, it is amazing how a little distance can offer so much perspective. And with perspectiv...

THE POWER OF OTHERS

Just returning from a very successful trip to Europe, it is amazing how a little distance can offer so much perspective. And with perspective comes lighthearted opportunity, endless possibility and vision. So why do I want to talk to you about ‘others’? 

Well, it is because of them that we lose sight of ourselves and our own wishes and get caught up in things we did not set out to do. It is our need to please, fit and impress that others hold so much power over us. ENOUGH, I say!

Firstly let me share a very brief story of a very good friend of mine. She was approached with an incredible opportunity however it was not something that was going to serve her or her family. Of course she was flattered and knew she could probably do an outstanding job. Yet she had other plans for the future which simply did not align. When she came to me, she was still torn. Her emotional turmoil did not let her think objectively. She wanted to proof to the people who supported her, she could do it and to the people who didn’t, even more so!

Have you ever been in such a situation? Where you did something you felt others expected you to, even though you knew somehow that it wasn’t right for you? People can have a big influence on our judgment, opinions and actions. Throw in your own ego and emotions and together it all becomes a tricky, murky muddle, led by the wrong intentions and in the wrong direction. What a terrible waste! It is time to put a stop to this!

The following 5 Decision Mantras will save you from falling into this usual trap:

1.) Know what you want - If you have a plan mapped out for yourself and your family, it is easier to sync your activities based on what is supportive and cut out what isn't!

2.) Take time before committing to anything - For big decisions you might even want to take a short trip to take yourself out of the emotionally overcast circumstances. It will do wonders to your objective perspective!

3.) Do ONLY what serves YOU - Everything else delegate, cancel or delete :)

4.) Don’t take things so damn personally - We all know we are replaceable and dispensable. And what’s more, we are not responsible for others but ourselves and our families!

5.) Detach from the outcome! - If you start by considering all the ‘what ifs’, chances are you don’t ground your decision on what you want but merely on conditioned emotions.

So for those of you who struggle with wasting precious time on pleasing others typically with little in it for yourselves, it’s time to put your foot down. Commit these decision mantras to memory and learn to make decisions that serve you, not others!


All the best,
Conny

THE POWER OF ASKING

It is fascinating how children will not stop asking for the things that they want. Relentlessly, they will pose a question over and over or try a slightly different approach to get the much desired ‘Yes’. 
When they realize they can’t have something, they will come up with the next best thing and start the process all over again. In adulthood they will have ‘finally’ been worn down and ‘learnt’ not to be so demanding. HOW TRAGIC!

My youngest son is 9 years old and still possesses the art of asking. He is a very fine example of the relentlessly hopeful with seemingly never ending persistence. As you can imagine as a parent that is pretty wearing but boy, does he get results! Let me share a couple of examples.

Recently at a market he approaches a vendor and asks:” Can I have this skateboard for free?” The vendor is perplexed and of course declines. So my son tries again, this time with another object of desire:” Can I have this T-shirt for free?” Now the vendor starts to smile but again, gently but firmly declines. After the third question for something else, the vendor declines once more but finally gives in and offers him a brand spanking new wallet!? My son is over the moon, says a heartfelt thank you and gives the vendor the biggest smile.

The other day we went into a bike store. Again my son starts his magic and says:” Can I have this BMX for free?” Of course the vendors tells him - no way! A few minutes later, he requests:” Can I have this bike shirt for free?” “NO!” Then:” Can I have this pump for free?” “I am sorry but I can’t give you any of this stuff for free. Oh, but wait, I have some stickers and a key ring you can have!”

RESULT!

The pattern seems to be always the same. Three attempts of asking and finally he gets at least something in return for his perseverance. Typically it is not exactly what he wanted, however he is always better off and relishes the reward for his relentlessness. When he first started this, I was a little embarrassed and tried to discourage him from asking people to give him something for free.

To this he said:” But mum, if I don’t ask, then how can I get?” There it was - the truth, the only reality that really makes sense. As kids we all did the same. We kept on asking until we got. Now that we have been reconditioned, we find it tough to ask - FOR ANYTHING! Help, support, the things we really want.....

So I put it to you. Learn from our kids and get back to the pre-conditioned state of kindly asking. Not just the once but three times! If you are in negotiations, try to ask for the business even if you have to change approach or tweak the proposal until it suits.

Never be scared again to pose the question or take “No” for an answer. You know that if you don’t ask, you certainly won’t get anything! And if you don’t ask often enough, you might just be one ‘No’ away from a ‘Yes”!

May your summer be as educational as mine :)
See you soon,
Conny